A New Beginning

One of my goals, now that I have regular internet access that is not work based, is to start writing here again. Although now that I have stopped for a while, and to be truthful was never really good at updating almost the whole year I lived at home ... well the idea of writing here again seems a little daunting. How to express myself, what to share, how to capture exactly what I am feeling and thinking and doing. I know that with practice the skills of self expression will come back, will improve. I guess I just have to accept (and ask you to accept) that this may be little more than a laundry list as I get the hang of things again. Assuming I ever had the hang of things in the first place. But if writing here (anywhere) is as important to me as it seems to be I have to let go of the fear and just breathe and let it all out.
And yes, I have goals here. And to-do lists that reach as far as next Christmas and dreams that stretch further than I can imagine right now. I am slowly building a life for myself here. More slowly than I would like some days but for the most part I am happy and content. So happy and content that I am almost not sure it is actually me living my life. Things are not perfect by any means, and there are moments of intense homesickness but there are also moments of feeling like this is exactly where I should be, this is what I should be doing, this is who I should be becoming. So while my moving away from everything and everyone I have ever loved has been a very big ending, in many ways it has been an even bigger beginning.